The questions a wedding celebrant asks a couple wanting to marry tell you a lot about the celebrant, and help you decide whether you want to have that person officiate at your wedding.
All of these are reasonable questions that will help your celebrant help you have the ceremony that you want:
- What kind of ceremony would you like? Purely civil, some religious flavor, or spiritual but not a specific religion?
- Would you like to write your own vows?
- Are there family and friends that you would like to have take an active role by reading, singing, et cetera?
- Will you be exchanging rings?
- What names would you like to be called during your ceremony?
- How would you like to be introduced at the conclusion of your marriage ceremony?
- Will one of you take the other's last name?
- Are you thinking of having a flower girl and ring bearer? How old will they be?
- Will the bride be presented in marriage? ("Given away" is the older term.) Will the groom be presented?
- Are there specific readings that you would like? Would you like suggestions, based on our conversation?
- Will you have a professional photographer?
- Have you thought about a unity ceremony, such as a unity candle, handfasting, or sand ceremony? Would you like me to describe some options?
- Are there any traditions that you would like included in your ceremony?
- What would you like me to wear while I'm performing your wedding ceremony?
Why do the ages of the flower girl and ring bearer matter? Children of different ages respond in different ways, and I can help you with suggestions for a stress-free experience for everyone.
Why would your celebrant want to know about a professional photographer? Some wedding celebrants have rules that photographers must follow; I do not.
Usually I meet with your professional photographer to go over your ceremony so that the photographer knows what will happen when, and I tell them that they have free rein.
Why would your officiant want to know about traditions? This is intentionally an open-ended question.
It enables you to tell me about family, cultural, or religious traditions that you would like included in your ceremony without me asking about your religious views or cultural heritage.
Questions that your wedding celebrant should not ask:
- Have you been married before? How many times? What happened?
- Are you pregnant?
- When are you planning on starting a family?
- Are you living together now?
- Do you believe in God?
- Where do you go to church? Are you Jewish (or Muslim or ....)? How often do you attend services?
- Are you willing to join my church?
- What are your Social Security Numbers?
None of the questions listed have anything to do with your wedding ceremony! Some are downright rude or invade your privacy.
If there is something that you think will help me create a better, more personal ceremony for you, then by all means tell me.
Many couples like to have their love story told as part of their wedding: Where they met, how they fell in love, how the proposal took place, et cetera.
When we meet I will give you some examples if you would like your love story to be part of your marriage ceremony.
There are some suggestions for choosing your wedding officiant,
and my privacy policy gives more examples of what I won't ask.
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